I don’t say what I mean. It’s not that I react poorly in a moment of emotion, or blatantly lie, but I do indulge in impulsive exaggerations. I am confident, but also compelled, without cognition, to stretch the facts.
Looking into someone’s story can let you read your own more clearly. This story starts when I dropped off my car at the dealership for maintenance and took the courtesy shuttle home. That was how I met the shuttle driver, Stan.
He was an old man and drove slowly. We had time to talk about the everyday, and he shared his opinion on everything. He was not concerned about the impact of his words. There was no good or bad, simply how it was. Along the way he received a call from a lady who wanted to rendezvous with the shuttle at 5PM. He simply could not accommodate since his last pick-up was thirty minutes earlier. Her pleads were in vain. He would not bend. He would not stretch the facts to make it better. And he would not apologize for it. He was face value.
What did I see in myself while I listened?
I do not mind the heat of the spotlight, but I do suffer from the anxiety of wanting to be seen in the best light. I critically compare myself to others, and should not. Instead I should focus on what is right for me. If I accept myself as I am, it would be easier to say what I mean, always, and to act at face value.
Thank you, Stan.