Must be Kind

There are seven billion people on this planet and growing. If you believe in soul mates, how is it possible to find him or her, especially since we are confined to one part of the world most of the time? I believe we are not looking for a person, or an idea of a person, as this is an illusion and expectations will never meet the reality of our imaginations. No, I believe we are looking for a match…a match to the complete puzzle piece we are, based on qualities and values.

So, how do we find a match based on qualities and values?

Simple…we make a list…but it isn’t just a list. “Just a list” will force us to check boxes and rule out possibly meaningful people in our lives because they do not meet arbitrary criteria. We need a “list” with judgment, and certain values are more important than others depending on how we know ourselves. I cannot stress this enough…the value of knowing yourself. This is a topic we will explore later this week. The combination of our “list” and “judgment” becomes a guide…like a guardian angel to our love lives.

So, what is your guardian angel looking for?

I am an eternal optimist, and consider myself a profoundly hopeful romantic. The dedication of my book, Storyteller’s Rose, summarizes my thoughts….

To my East—those who I loved before my birth, and will love after my passing: my mother, who bore me into this world; my father, who raised me to be the man I am; my two brothers, who taught me companionship; and my two sisters, who taught me compassion. And to her who is teaching me hope, for we have yet to meet as I write these words—but I long to meet with each sunrise.

I now share a few qualities my guardian angel has been seeking. By no means is this “list” universal. You must look inside yourself and see how the notches and grooves of your puzzle piece would best match your equal-opposite-other. You should consider the qualities and values that will both compliment and encourage growth within you. I hope you enjoy my moment of vulnerability…

1. Must be kind. As this is over the fiftieth entry on the topic this winter, this has special resonance to me. Be sure to seek out people who embody your most important values, and find inspiration by them. This also means being supportive. She doesn’t have to agree with everything I am, but she must know what is important to me. This is inclusive of other qualities, such as acceptance, forgiveness, humility, compassion, and to allow herself the vulnerability of loving deeply.

2. A good communicator. To be aware of her own feelings and to know how to express them. We all have faults and doubts within us, but to self-deprecate when we are not perfect, and to bottle up our emotions when we are frustrated, especially to the people who matter most in our lives, will only lead to dark roads. A balanced temperament is paramount. Raging emotions that control words and actions will lead to unnecessary conflict.

3. Confident through intelligence. I am looking for a partner, capable of standing on her feet, to be an independent person with her own identity. The outward awareness she has in the world, to take action, live her ambition, and fulfill her dreams is driven by multiple factors…but especially by intelligence.

4. Express creativity, passionately. Passion’s fire will always keep a couple warm, no matter how it ebbs and flows in a relationship. While my creative spirit allows me to write, and conjure reality from words, it is important my special person shares a similar pursuit…be it dance, art, song and so forth.

5. Mindful of life’s choices. What we think, and how we act are reflections of who we are. We make mistakes, and lose ourselves along the way, but there are certain lines we should never cross. These are trustworthy qualities of earning and giving respect. It also includes how wisely she spends the fruits of our labor, and how she keeps herself healthy. But this also includes the wisdom to laugh at herself, being spontaneous and expressing herself playfully.

Thank you for allowing me to share this brief list, and may it inspire yours.